Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What is it like to live with twins?

...That's the question I hear at least 2 times a week. Usually when I'm out and about, trying to shop...

I was really paying attention the past couple of days so that I could give you a play-by-play.

Here's what you do if you would like to experience life with twin 16 month olds:

Laundry: When Mommy loads the washing machine, make sure you pull 2/3 of what she put in there back out. Try your hardest to jump into the washing machine. Try to close the door on Mommy every 2.4 seconds. Close the detergent drawer at least twice while Mommy is trying to put detergent in. Start, stop, start, stop and start the cycle again. Run away yelling when Mommy pushes the Child Lock button.

Going to the fridge: When Mommy goes into the refrigerator, she will make sure to get everything out as quickly as she can. The timer starts when she opens the door, that's when you and your brother bum-rush Mommy to knock her out of the way so that you may partake of the goodness that is the fridge. Get what you can. Mommy will try and close the doors, while your assignment is to climb up both the door shelves and fridge shelves. Flick the light on and off 17 times...minimum. Squeal with delight every time the light comes on.

Going Potty:Mommy will try to situate herself so that you can't reach into the potty. Race her to get there first! Points given to the first to splash in the toilet water. After she has a seat, hit her repeatedly on the back with the toilet lid. Laugh maniacally. Climb up and down, up and down on the step stool in front of the sink. Open and shut the bathroom door repeatedly. Bonus points are rewarded if you are able to catch a part of your brother in the door as it shuts.

Loading the car: This part is AWESOME if it's raining, snowing, etc. If mom's arms are particularly overloaded, or she is crazy enough to let you wander into the garage without holding you both, take different directions...running...When she catches one of you, start wiggling. Most importantly, listen carefully, when Mommy is trying to put you in your carseat, arch your back, squeal and kick those legs! When she gets you buckled in, don't give now have to help your brother! Grab his legs while she is trying to wrestle him in his carseat, laugh, make LOTS of noise. Mommy's not having fun unless she's sweating. Really.

Bathtime:  When your over-worked, tired parents tell you it's bathtime, get super excited. I mean, pee on the floor as soon as your diaper is off excited. When they get you undressed, run. Run like the wind! Scream and squeal. This is the best time of the day. By far. If they get you wrangled into the tub, stand up. Then sit down until they have soap in their hands. Then stand up. Fast. Sit down. Put your fingers in your brother's nose. Put your fingers in your own nose. Stand up. Pretend you are marching. Splash. A lot. It's not a successful bath until Mommy or Daddy are wet. Completely. When they say bath is over and try to get you out, squirm. You are now a slipperly eel. Use it to your advantage. Wiggle, squirm, contort. When you are dried it's time to run again. Run. Run as fast as your chubby legs can go. Bonus points given if you run into something or someone. Extra special points awarded if you can run and pee on the carpet at the same time.

There can be SO many installments of this post, can't there? Do you think it sounds like fun? :)

I think that being a twin (or one of three children that constantly outnumber your parents) sounds like a lot of fun...


Allison said...

Very good description - sounds like my life too :) said...

You are CRACKING ME UP! Great post!